For those who don’t know, Danimal is my intellectually disabled brother. He doesn’t quite form sentences the way most of us do, and sometimes ends up saying hilarious things. This year, we decided to make a Top 10 list. They’ll probably only be funny to those who know him, but if you don’t, it’ll give you a little window into the White Family.
10. About my brother’s expected baby. “Is the baby come out or not?”
9. I came down in my homemade hippie pants one day and he said, “It’s DISCOOOOOOOO MANDA!”
8. Discussion between Dan and Emily:
Danimal: Why are you painting the floor grey?
Emily: Because the waterproofers made it all dirty and chipped.
Danimal: Why painting it GREY?
Emily: I don’t know.
Danimal: What for, grey?
Emily: I don’t know, to be pretty!
Danimal: No grey. I like dirt.
7. I put on a winter knit hat with a big poofball on top, and Dan said, “I’ll call you Waldo.”
6. Emily was having a conversation with Eric while Dan was mopping in the next room. When there was a lull in the conversation, they heard him say quietly to himself, “I want to mop the ceiling.”
5. Dan and Emily were sitting at the dinner table, and Dan texted her and said “Hey Emily, look at your phone.” The text said “You like what why who” That one is just baffling.
4. One day Dan sat down with Dad:
Danimal: Dad, what should we do?
Danimal: Yeah, guys and men.
Dad: Guys and men?
Danimal. Yeah. You’re a man. I’m a guy. Guys and men.
(Translation: I think he was trying to use male bonding as an excuse to go see a movie.)
3. When Emily’s old dog Sprite was put to sleep, Dan texted her, “The dog doctor came and put Sprite in sleep mode.”
2. Dan’s suggestions for Mike’s baby’s name: Danny, Jesus, or God.
1. OK, this one wasn’t from this year, and my mom and my Uncle have different versions of the quote, but I’m going with Uncle Jeff’s ’cause it’s funnier. And since this is the first year of the list it doesn’t matter that it’s not from this year.
Uncle Jeff calls on the phone.
“Hi Dan, it’s Uncle Jeff! Can I talk to your mom?”
“Ok. MOMMM! It’s Uncle Jeff! I thought he was dead?”
Everybody take notes for the best quotes of 2012!