Ready for a change of scenery.
Heyyy everybody!!!
Opera Language Circle is going great. ALL my “core” regulars cancelled this week, but I still had a full group- like 8 people I think again. People I had never heard of who just showed up. 
Most found us through NFCS, one through the Classical Singer Forums which I forgot I’d posted on. Way to represent, Amanda…. Our conversations were really successful even though none of those present were really bilingual in anything- closest was me with my French, which is far from flawless.
Oh, speaking of French, I had to call France again- I hate talking on the phone in French!- to talk to Dessay’s publicist about our interview. At least this time I knew her name and she knew who I was. She’s so nice! She’s supposed to contact La Dessay to figure out when we can do the interview and get back to me- I’ll call her Monday or Tues if I haven’t heard back by then… She thought we could just do it after a rehearsal at the Met. Kewl.
Opera on Tap was last night. The theme was dysfunctional relationships, which basically applies to everything in opera ever. That’s why we have opera? I wanted to sing A Serpina penserete for my first aria, but over the past month have not been able to think of what to do for the second! It’s like by now I’ve done almost everything, and I’m trying not to repeat myself too much. (Except for doing The Russian Nightingale both years we did “Music from Cold Countries.” But it’s such a crowd-pleaser!!!!!) Usually I try to make one of my arias especially flashy, but instead of going for the high notes, I finally decided (a few hours before the show) to do The Black Swan. Because no one would suspect it. Unlike most people I never sang it in school, I just taught it to myself for an audition. I really focused on how to use my consonants to make myself sound younger- more l and n, less hard g. It was a little experiment I did, recording myself and listening back. Anyways I nailed it, even got all the words right. It’s strophic, you know, so it’s hard to keep the verses in the right order.
I’m rambling about little happenings and not talking about the important stuff. So, I’m pretty unfettered right now. I have almost no definite upcoming engagements, for the first time in a long time. (I have a small definite one but it’s far in the future, and a big possible one but they haven’t updated me so I suspect my first Zerbinetta might be postponed again… sigh…) The group I did Pirates and Ruddigore with is currently auditioning for Sorcerer and I’m waffling about doing it. I probably will if they double cast, so the time commitment is not so heavy. I don’t have a decent day job… I can’t afford my rent anymore… My point is that I feel really free right now. And bored and stuck and frustrated. And unattached. I feel like moving back to Europe.
Funny because I’ve been talking to a friend about going auditioning in Germany for awhile, and I’m like yeah I should do that but I wasn’t really FEELING it, and then all of a sudden yesterday I’m like, “Yes, I want to go to Europe now. I want to audition in Germany, live in Italy for awhile, I’m not even sure what, but I am ready NOW.”
I was in a very different place when I first went to Europe. I needed to work on my technique and languages, and just wait for my voice to grow. I wanted to expand my horizons and see the world.
I was in a different place when I left Europe. I needed to flesh out my resume by doing some community opera, to network and meet people. I wanted to live in America again and earn a living (it was hard in France) and settle down.
Now I’m in another place once again. I’ve given up on settling down for now- I really did not set down roots here like I expected to. And I really, really fleshed out my resume with amateur and semi-pro gigs last year. Now I need to actually work as a singer. Or at least have a change of scenery.
So now I feel like (I say “feel like” because I’m really just going with my gut instinct, and if it changes I will change my plans- I’m not determined at this point) going back to Europe. Probs do an audition tour in Germany and/or try to sneak by in Italy the same way I did in France, doing the student visa/conservatory thing and working on the side. Or something. I am really undecided, but at the moment I feel like being undecided is best. It’s not time for methodical planning, it’s time for being open to opportunities. Anyways I’m actively practicing both German and Italian (and French!) at Opera Language Circle! All my languages are coming along well.
There are some other possibilities than those. The one thing that is NOT a possibility is to stay where I am and keep doing what I’m doing. These are just the possibilities I feel most able to act on, rather than rely on luck and timing.
Also working through how to record a rock album even though I have like no budget, and still no bass player. There are some possibilities…! I feel hopeful. Kind of excited. A lot of it is syncronicity, a lot of it is just thinking outside the box.
I knew my empty calendar would eventually open me up to new possibilites. Took awhile, though.
Love always,
Amanda
